I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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