I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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