I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
