Having a random hookup so left but love u
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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