She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
