ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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