Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize