what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
