next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
