That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
