whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My life is pants optional.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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