WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
