Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
