I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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