I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
