i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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