just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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