i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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