What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
