New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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