first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
