You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
whose ass print is on the piano?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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