Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize