i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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