Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
