Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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