New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
