it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
