im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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