just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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