Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize