Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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