Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
