whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
