your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
