So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
