For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize