3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize