he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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