Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
