3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
