My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
