U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
