My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
