i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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