I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
