I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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