Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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