I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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