I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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