can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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