the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
