what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
