Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I have post one night stand depression
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
