You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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