I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
