can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just had sex on a roof
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
