ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
