so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just gargled with NyQuil
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
