Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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