I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
