For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
