Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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